Nickelodeon Love Story Episodes of the Millennium – Our Take

nickelodeon-valentines-sweet-candy-logo-nick-valentine-s-day

The Millennium Era of Nickelodeon is arguably the best television can get. This Valentine’s Day, Andrew & Kinsey watched every Valentine related episode of classic Nickelodeon shows. Below, we have chronicled our thoughts on what worked, what did not, and what could be improved on. Know of any episodes we missed? Let us know in the comments!


Hey Arnold: “Arnold’s Valentine”

Original Air date: February 12, 1997
*The only episode not from the true Millennium.
Episode Summary: Arnold has two dates: one with Ruth, the girl he fancies; and one with Cecile, his pen pal from school. Arnold runs between the two dinner dates at adjacent French restaurants. Helga pretends to be Cecile. Gerald pretends to be Arnold. It gets weird. I_m_Ruth._What_s_yours

Kinsey:

  • Ruth ain’t even cute
  • Arnold is left-handed!!!
  • Student: “What if you’ve never experienced love?”
  • Teacher: “Then you’d be me.” BURN!!!
  • Arnold puts too much faith in a woman’s ability to recognize anonymous people.
  • Helga is so mean! She is diabolical. But this is nothing new
  • Gerald is my spirit animal
  • Arnold pays way too much attention to details. Is he a real man?
  • Since when do boys rehearse what they say before they talk to girls? Am I missing something here?
  • Arnold’s speech moved Gerald to tears.
  • Arnold is wearing a Crimson bow. Roll Tide.
  • Helga is trying too hard. She is the MOST extra
  • Arnold has THREE women throughout the episode!!!
  • Damn. Arnold is ruthless “Helga really bugs me.” STRAIGHT TO HER FACE!
  • Anonymous is a famous poet, according to Ruth.
  • I am sad that Grandpa and Pookie were not in the episode. They are me and Andrew in cartoon form.
  • This episode was sad. Arnold ended up with no one. Please don’t make me watch it again until we do our Hey Arnold! Podcast.

Get_out_of_my_class_roomAndrew:

  • Before Lila, there was Ruth.
  • Peapod Kid/Teacher ship name: Peacher
  • The teacher hasn’t been laid in a while.
  • Arnold’s got game. “I’ve admired you from afar and now I want to admire you up close”
  • Sometimes the most beautiful gift comes in the plainest box.
  • Helga and Pakistani pen pal: still a better love story than Twilight. But for real, as if Helga doesn’t have enough problems.
  • Helga imitates French pen pal.
  • How does Arnold afford to eat at fancy French restaurant?
  • Gerald is the wing-man we all need, but don’t deserve.
  • Ruth and Timmy McNulty deserve each other.This_is_not_bad._What_is_it_again
  • The poodle hair stylist should lose his job.
  • Want Arnold to date you? Give an old woman a watermelon.
  • Arnold: most eligible bachelor
  • Arnold manages to score crazy girl, french girl, and cool older girl all in one day and at the age of 9. You know what they say about guys with football shaped heads.
  • Why isn’t Arnold wondering why she isn’t speaking in a French accent? Poodle hair must be distracting.
  • Ruth gets with creepy older bus boy. Hopefully she doesn’t end up in his van.
  • The episode uses an old romantic trope of the popular girl not being what you expected and the unlikely girl actually being the one you were looking for. Unfortunately this message doesn’t quite translate since Arnold ends up alone.

Rugrats: “Be My Valentine”

Original Air Date: February 11, 2000
tenorEpisode summary: “When the Rugrats accidentally hit Spike with one of Angelica’s arrows while she’s dressed as Cupid, she tells them that they have to find Spike a valentine fast or he’ll have a “broked heart”. Can the babies help him win over Angelica’s cat Fluffy? Meanwhile, the adults get their arms stuck in Chas’ car trying to get his keys out. While their parents go to a Valentine’s Day costume dance, the Rugrats are left in child care. There, Angelica and Susie get the babies to start making valentines. Will Phil make one for a new friend who seems to be smitten with him? Who will make the best valentine for Timmy McNulty…Angelica or Susie? And will Chuckie get his dad a valentine before Valentine’s Day is over? – Klasky Csupo website

Kinsey:

  • “How come we’re eating cookies that looks like our butts?”Good question, Phil. hearts really do look like butts. Or boobs.
  • This is one of the few times we hear Lou talk about Trixie, Drew and Stu’s mom.
  • Spike gets hit with an arrow
  • Angelica is a bitch, just like her cat Fluffy. Rugrats_-_Be_My_Valentine_Part_1_(223)
  • Why is Spike in a dapper suit?
  • Spike eats Fluffy’s food. Fluffy gets angry. I’d be mad if Andrew ate my food too. I’d
  • The dads are the definition of toxic masculinity.
  • Howard and Betty are goals. Especially in their matching outfits.
  • Angelica and Susie get into a girl fight over the OG cartoon Fuck-Boi: Timmy McNulty.
  • Chuckie is very in tune with his dads emotions.
  • Angelica and Susie realize that boys are stupid. Girl power. 
  • The episode has a happy ending and the adults realize that kids make valentines day even more specialBe_My_Valentine_Part_2_(463)

Andrew:

  • “How come we’re eating cookies shaped like butts?”
  • Love through the ages is the theme of this.
  • Didi is a hippie
  • Grandpa Lou remembers Trixie, which is a rare moment of back story.
  • Fluffy/Spike ship name: Spuffy. Erotic fan fiction awaits
  • Spike pulls off Lou swag
  • The use of the word “Bootiful”
  • Angelica has a horrible moral compass.
  • Spike makes the grave error of eating his woman’s food. Rugrats_-_Be_My_Valentine_Part_1_(316)
  • Angelica and Susie both want the D. Turns out to be F boy.
  • Phil eats red crayon and briefly turns into Vito Corleone from the Godfather.
  • Phil does avant-garde baby scribble valentine
  • Chuckie goes obsessed girlfriend style on his valentine by putting lock of hair on it.
  • What was in that punch?
  • Why is a caveman dancing with an astronaut. 
  • The episode successfully mixes funny gags with sweet and touching moments.

Spongebob: “Valentine’s Day”

Original Air Date: February 14, 2000
Episode Summary: “SpongeBob and Sandy set up a Valentine’s Day treat for Patrick, a hot-air balloon made completely of chocolate, at a Valentine’s Day-themed park. Unfortunately, their plan is delayed, as the balloon is attacked by scallops. SpongeBob gives Patrick a handshake in order to keep the balloon a surprise. Patrick nearly goes insane with rage, but SpongeBob’s treat for Patrick arrives, and Patrick becomes friends with SpongeBob and Sandy again.” Valentine_s_Day_title_card

Kinsey:

  • SpongeBob is so thoughtful and extra in everything he does
  • Squidward is salty, per usual.
  • Patrick and SpongeBob are couples goals and I do not care what you think.
  • Patrick is so pleased with anything.
  • Mt. Climb Up and Fall Off is actually a thing? I like it because of its simplicity Valentine_s_Day_073
  • A handshake is a pretty disappointing gift.
  • Patrick is as stubborn as me.
  • “Aww Spongebob. You didn’t have to get me anything.” I would have beaten him.
  • For this to be one of my favorite Nicktoons, I am surprised I have so little to say.

Andrew:

  • Spongebob keeps the valentines on deck.
  • Sandy is nuts for him. And Spongebob is bubbles for her.
  • Spongebob/Sandy ship name: Sandbob Squarecheeks
  • Get you a man who will plan valentines as elaborate as Spongebob does for Patrick. Or get a man who’s as easy to shop for as Patrick is. Or get you a girl who can battle flying scallops while standing on top of a hot air balloon made of chocolate like Sandy. Valentine_s_Day_129
  • When all else fails, get a handshake for Valentines Day.
  • Patrick goes psycho when he finds out Spongebob was being a hoe.
  • This Episode doesn’t have quite as much moral substance as the last two.
  • Spongebob is like the girl who flirts with every guy in class without realizing it.

The Wild Thornberrys: “Operation Valentine”

Original Air Date: February 14, 2001
2d2ef5df21a64fe867b4ac2267de56ddEpisode summary: “The Thornberrys are broken down. The Mail plane drops of the Thornberrys current batch of mail. Debbie tries to bake cookies, which turn out badly. They try to escape from an angry eagle by climbing up a small mountain. Eliza slips and nearly falls. Darwin pulls her up on top of the small mountain. Nigel was on an explore of his own and comes across Donnie. Nigel picks up Eliza in his arms and carries her back to camp. Marianne upon seeing Eliza’s symptoms quickly looks them up in a medical book. They need to get Eliza to the hospital ASAP because it is her appendix. They try taking the mini-com but it gets a flat and they are unable to put the spare on it because the spare is already being used.”

Kinsey:

  • DINGOS!!! I LOVE DINGOS! I think a dingo ate your baby (cue Seinfeld)
  • Nigel just sprayed the fire extinguisher on Donnie!
  • Cookies that look like wombats, Australia, and hearts
  • Donnie’s hand is in his pants. x1080-rQ1
  • Who names their kid Deeter?
  • Debbie is like Angelica.
  • TOO BAD YOUR COOKING IS NOT AS GOOD AS YOUR HEARING!!! Burn
  • “This will hold you up. It’s nice and hard” – Darwin
  • Oh no. Eliza doesn’t feel well.
  • Adults underestimating kids again. Donnie could have been hurt by that eagle. Effing Nigel.
  • Damn. I’m slacking in the valentines gift department. A freaking plane?! Sorry Andrew.
  • Get you a man like Nigel.

Andrew:

  • I didn’t know Flea did the voice of Donnie Thornberry.
  • I also totally forgot there was a talking monkey in this show. I’m overwhelmed.
  • Oh yeah, Eliza can talk to animals.
  • I’m going to start a band called Deborah and the Wombat Cookies
  • Heart shaped cookies have really taken a beating in these episodes
  • Ship name: Svebbie
  • Sven is Debbie’s email pal who she’s supposed to meet tonight. It’ll probably just be Helga.
  • Packages with parachutes. I hope there was nothing fragile in them.
  • On second thought, maybe I’ll started a band called Packages With Parachutes.
  • “Sometimes I think it would be far easier to raise crocodiles” Damn
  • What’s going on with Eliza?
  • “It’s nice and hard like your sisters cookie is” Well alrighty then
  • Nigel’s killing it with the funny reaction noises.Operación_San_Valentín
  • I may or may not have googled “Can an eagle eat a kangaroo?”
  • No one challenges Nigel Thornberry to charades and lives to tell the tale.
  • Debbie’s thirsty.
  • Eliza must go to hospital
  • This just isn’t their lucky day, is it?
  • Is it just me, or are Eliza and Darwin clearly in love?
  • Just when you think Nigel couldn’t get anymore bad-ass they give him a jet powered hang glider.
  • Eliza’s making monkey noises.
  • Nigel: father of the year
  • Eliza’s had appendix taken out.
  • The story of how Nigel and Marianne met could have ended VERY badly. Only someone like Nigel could pull something like that off.
  • Didn’t really feel like a valentines episode.

As Told By Ginger: “Piece of My Heart”

Original Air Date: April 29, 2001
Episode Summary: Hoodsey invites Macie to the dance disguised as a “mystery man” because he has a crush on her. Darren thinks that Courtney invited him to the dance, but she really invited his older brother, Will. Carl and Blake team up to retrieve a pig’s heart so they can save a cow’s life.WyBzvOpUctM

Kinsey:

  • Hoodsey being late is me.
  • Andrew is Ginger.
  • YAS HOODSEY YES. CREAMED CORN
  • I think I am Hoodsey.
  • Poor Ginger. Gets rejected by Ian. Another girl asks her backup to the dance? Bless her heart.
  • Once again, rich white boy ruins everything. But his name is Blake, so I can’t hate him too much. Y_1392d158
  • “Why are you talking to me when I’m trying to eat my breakfast.” Same, Will, Same.
  • Courtney, I go everywhere by myself. I guess I’m in the 21st century? 
  • Why didn’t Darren just use the front door? No need to sneak in through the window… UNLESS…
  • “His head may be metal. But his heart isn’t” Cool ass brother right there.
  • I LOVE MACIE’S OUTFIT AT THE DANCE.
  • Dodie can fuck off with her stealing glasses off Macie’s face.
  • Name: Man, Mystery. Get em Hoodsey
  • Hoodsey and Macie: the couple we don’t deserve.
  • “Adding Spice to the salad of life”

Andrew:

  • Why are all the teachers in these episodes old ladies? Y_255f469d
  • We find out Hoodsey Bishop (voiced by Tress MacNeille who voices Pookie in Hey Arnold) dropped the note in Macie’s locker.
  • Hoodsey likes frog stickers.
  • “Roses smell good, picnics have ants, please ask me to the Sadie Hawkins dance.”
  • Ginger and Darren have pact. If Ian is taken, they will go together.
  • It seems like Darren might be in friend zone territory.
  • “We’re keeping dissecting of a pig heart in the curriculum!” Symbolism for heartbreak?Pinky
  • Pinky the cow needs pig heart? These kids are weird.
  • Blonde dude is suspicious.
  • Miranda asks Ian to dance before Ginger can. Water fountain technique fails.
  • Ginger has to settle for Darren and seems disappointed.
  • BUT TWIST! Courtney’s asking Darren. Or is she?
  • Poor British delivery guy
  • Blonde guy gets in on Operation Pinky
  • Science teacher falls for surveillance spy pen.
  • Courtney actually meant to ask Will, Darren’s brother, to the dance.
  • Ginger tries to break news to Darren. He doesn’t believe her.
  • “His head may by metal, but his heart isn’t.” Will is on the case.
  • Winston is helping kids with pig heart heist.
  • “Name?” “Man, mystery”
  • Pig heart is successfully stolen. CAM00546
  • “Earl Forkenschtock” “How exotic”
  • Hoodsey and Macie almost kiss
  • Blonde guy and Carl must go back to being sworn enemies. It seems to “add a little spice to the salad of life.”
  • In memory of Lewis Arquette (father of the Arquette acting dynasty and voice of Mr. Cilia)
  • This episode felt like it could have been an episode of Degrassi Jr. High
  • Ship name: Morkenschtock

Invader Zim: “Tak: The Hideous New Girl”

Original Air Date: May 10, 2002
Episode summary: “A new girl at school, Tak, joins the class and “has a crush” on Zim according to the other children. Tak is actually an Irken, and reveals herself after many failed attempts by Zim of trying to get Tak to be his “love-pig” so he can find out more about the humans. Tak reveals her plan to hollow out the Earth’s core and fill it with snacks as an offering to the Almighty Tallest. Zim, Dib, Gaz, and GIR team up to try to stop Tak. Zim distracts her in his spaceship while Dib turns off Tak’s machine, while GIR and Gaz manage to wreak havoc remotely. At the end, Dib laments that he is unable to explore beyond Earth, only for Tak’s abandoned ship to crash right in front of him. This is the third time in the series that Zim saved the human race.”Zim_Offers_Muffin_(Tak,_The_Hideous_New_Girl)

Kinsey:

  • Valentines day makes the kids really excited. It is an earth holiday.
  • Teacher looks like an older Ms. Fowl from Jimmy Neutron.
  • Meat for Valentine’s Day? This should be for adults.  
  • Delicious weenie corporation!
  • “Valentines wieners for everyone.” STOP. YOU’RE KILLING ME!!!
  • “Wieners rock.” STAHP
  • “Zim needs no meats.” Because you like Tak.
  • Dib is like Andrew’s brother, Alex! (Shameless plug for Spectral Wolf Pack)
  • Zim is a prime example of toxic masculinity1x20-Tak-The-Hideous-New-Girl-invader-zim-24321585-1360-768 (1)
  • Tak is mean.
  • Oh, Tak is not real.
  • I am having an existential crisis watching this show.
  • Goth girls want to take over the world. WOO!
  • I don’t care to ever watch this again.

Andrew:

  • This episode was the season 3 premiere. It aired in May despite being Valentine’s episode.
  • There seems to be a recurring theme of old sexually repressed/frustrated teachers.
  • I look forward to a future where we give out steaks for Valentine’s Day!
  • Nothing screams romance like Valentines wieners
  • Zim wants to learn more about human affection, which he believes is based on pain. I see a future in BDSM coming.
  • Zim’s commitment is admirable.
  • Goth girl is a simulation.Takdisguise
  • Are all goth girls simulations?
  • And like most goth girls, blames everyone else for horrible life.
  • Hell knows no wrath like a woman’s scorn.
  • Alien’s weakness = burning poop.
  • “Most people only see a faceless corporate venture, not a plan for world conquest”
  • “What’s the difference?”
  • Zim/Tak ship name: Zak or Tim
  • Starts off as Valentines episode, but becomes an epic sci-fi revenge tale and ends on a cliffhanger

Fairly Odd Parents: “Love Struck”

Original air date: February 14, 2003
Episode Summary: “Having been rejected by Trixie on Valentine’s Day, Timmy wishes that the population be divided by gender, thus Dimmsdale (and, to a greater extent, the world) splits into Hersdale (Female’s world) and Himsdale (Male’s World) by a wall. Unfortunately, because no love is spreading, Cupid is nearing his death, so Timmy must save him.”LoveStruck278

Kinsey:

  • Valentine’s day is the only day restraining orders don’t count, according to Timmy.
  • Cosmo and Timmy think girls love sports. If it were me, they would not be wrong. Roll Tide.
  • Cartoon boys know nothing about girls. Real boys know nothing about girls either.
  • Tootie has been Timmy’s OG pretty much since day oneTitlecard-Love_Struck
  • Timmy wants to live in a world without girls. I can’t tell if he is smart or stupid.
  • Dad still hates Dinkleberg
  • This episode is incredibly sexist towards men and women. Not all women hate sports and not all guys smell bad, among many other things.
  • Himmsdale is the representation of toxic masculinity.
  • I hate that Nickelodeon is not supportive of gay culture. They keep inferring that love is only between men and women. WRONG.
  • I don’t want to live in a world without Andrew even though he put WAY too much thought into his analysis of this episode.

Andrew:

  • Love was invented by fairies marching in underwear.
  • Second dog/cat couple we have seen.
  • Don’t give a girl a vile of eternal beauty. Tell her she is a vile of eternal beauty!
  • Seems to unfairly infer that women only love material things.LoveStruckBook02
  • Repeat: seems to unfairly infer that women only love material things.
  • Also infers that love only exists between men and women.
  • This episode makes both men and women look bad.
  • “We’re doing what men always do: a needless tug-of-war” Accurate.
  • At the end of the day, the world can’t function without women.
  • Does Timmy’s wish affect just Dimmsdale or the entire world? If so, why is Cupid so dependent on one small town? Is Dimmsdale the entire world? Am I putting too much thought into this? 
  • Timmy makes honorable decision at the end to be with Tootie.

Jimmy Neutron: “Love Potion #976/J”

Original Air Date: February 13, 2004
Episode Summary: A lab mishap exposes Jimmy, Carl, and Sheen to an invented pheromone Jimmy created. It causes each of them to fall madly in love with the next girl they see: Jimmy to Cindy; Carl to Judy; and Sheen to Libby.

jimmy_neutron_fantasies_by_randy123456we-d5mrvve

Kinsey:

  • The episode name is funny since it is an allusion to the “Love potion #9” song!
  • Madame Curie is Jimmy’s platonic love, which is cute.
  • Libby likes a band called Guys to Boys. Please tell me this is a spin-off of Boyz II Men
  • Cindy is practical. She wants to call her mom’s lawyer and make sure she is obligated to pursue a relationship!!!  Love em and leave em.
  • Oliander’s girlfriend, Emily, is like my ex “You must not really love me if you don’t add more macaroni.” Work on that aggression, sweetheart.
  • “What is a pheromone? It’s what makes boys fall in love with girls.” Jimmy, what about guys and guys/girls and girls? IT IS 2004 FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!!Sheen_and_Libby
  • Carl telling it like it is: “Girls don’t beat you up after school.”
  • Carl is me: “My cheese of the month comes today!” A valid reason to be excited.
  • During the hallucination scene, you realize the boys see what they really want in women instead of what is actually there. 
  • Sheen is so sweet. He treats Libby like a queen. My favorite couple on the show aside from Carl and Llamas.
  • Carl liking Jimmy’s mom is weird
  • The card from Carl was so weird. Oh my god.
  • “I love you, but I’m supposed to hate you”

Andrew:

  • I wish someone would look at me the way Jimmy looks at old scientists who died in the 30s.
  • Why isn’t Jimmy Neutron working for the government?
  • Girls “ALMOST” never beat Carl up after school. Oh, Carl.
  • Cindy and Libby have slight Angelica and Susie vibes.
  • Can lawyers always be involved when entering into a relationship with someone?
  • Sheen is into some serious sci-fi/fantasy role play.
  • “Jimmy’s mom has got it going on” – Fountains of Weez.
  • Give a girl your prized action figure AFTER you ask her out, not before, Sheen.
  • When it’s 10 minutes into Ultra-Lord and Chill and he pulls out some sort of rake/broom hybrid weapon. jimmy_neutron_fantasies_by_rand1y123456we-d5mrvve
  • Monkey ends up getting most action in episode from Jimmy’s Dad.
  • Did they ever explain where Carl got a monkey from?
  • I wish that I had a machine that could turn me into Hugh Hefner like Jimmy does.
  • Cindy will make ultimate trophy wife one day. She will probably end up divorcing Jimmy and taking all of his money.
  • Never underestimate the power of cheese!

All Grown Up:

Original Air Date: February 14, 2004
Episode Summary: There is a Valentine’s Day dance. Chuckie is planning to ask Nicole to the dance. Angelica is scheming to get the boy of her dreams, Sean Butler, into asking her. Kimi, Z, and Susie are planning to go as a group. Lil Romeo special guest stars as Lil “Q”, a hacky sacker whose attempts to get Chuckie and Nicole together result in Nicole falling in love with Tommy and Sean and Z falling in love with Susie. Friendships between Tommy and Chuckie, and Susie and Kimi deteriorate because of this, and Angelica becomes jealous of Susie “stealing” Sean from her. U8rxjRsJeA4

Kinsey:

  • Is the new kid voiced by Lil Romeo?
  • I used to be really good at hacky sack
  • Again with our theme of sexually repressed teachers
  • “When it comes to maturity, i am at the bottom of the escalator”
  • Tommy is so passive aggressive “i guess…”
  • Angelica is over dramaticmaxresdefault
  • NICOLE IS A HOE!!! 
  • Romeo is the hacky sack king
  • Is the purple ball magic?
  • Dill is in his own world. Possibly autistic?
  • Tommy wants nothing to do with Nicole.
  • “This is like a really bad after school special”
  • Susie really is a catch.
  • Green haired dude forgot who Kimmy was. Asshole. Kimmy is a catch
  • Spike has a crush on the vacuum cleaner
  • “Reduce me to a grain of sand on the beach of life.”
  • I think Tommy is gay.
  • I have always wanted Chuckie and Susie to be together
  • Ship name: sucky/chuzie
  • “When dill pickles feels something, its not gas or indigestion.”
  • Dill is a philosopher. All_Grown_Up_-_Its_Cupid_Stupid
  • Harold and his hill of hits
  • Fuckboys find solace in each other
  • “Would you ask my sister to dance so I can eat?” That’s a real world problem, Phil.
  • DAMMIT. LIL ROMEO IS GONE

Andrew:

  • Dil puts brownie in copy machine. Is wearing a shirt that slightly resembles Charlie Brown’s shirt.
  • Very strange pre-theme song scene
  • Theme song is sung by Cree Summer who does voice of Susie and also voice of Miranda on As Told by Ginger
  • Lil Q is transfer student from pretty far away. BuTRBqI-gBM
  • Finally shaking things up in teacher department.  She seems crazy. Talks about Valentines Dance.
  • Angelica and Susie both want the same D again.
  • Sean is a tool.
  • “I’m 10. Who needs this kind of pressure?” Amen brother
  • Tag team hacky sacker
  • February is when Dil talks without verbs.
  • “This isn’t even how a real heart is shaped” He would know after eating that butt shaped cookie. Rugrats: eating ass since 1991
  • Chuckie is thinking of asking Nicole to dance.
  • “I think she’s finally over that unfortunate chongo incident and seeing me as a worthwhile human being” What the hell?
  • Tommy is upset that Chuckie is bailing on bro date, but tells him to go for it.
  • What’s Lil Q plotting with that hacky sack?
  • Angelica is desperate
  • “Is it me or is that kinda pathetic?”
  • 11/12-year-old green haired punk rock kid with earrings.
  • Tommy is being salty.
  • Lil Q hits Nicole in head with hacky sack and she falls in love with Tommy.
  • Sean gets hit and falls in love with Susie. All_Grown_Up_Its_Cupid_Stupid_14
  • Lil Q=Cupid. I’m embarrassed that it took me this long to figure out.
  • Nicole gives Tommy valentine with mariachi band in it. 
  • “I give the special ones early” Jesus, how many does she give?
  • Punk rocker falls for Susie. Punk rocker and Sean battle it out
  • Prediction: Lil Q will disappear at end of episode and everyone will think Dil is crazy.
  • “My mojo’s a no go”
  • Spike (was that Spike?) falls for vacuum cleaner. What’s he going to tell Fluffy? Ship name: Vikuum
  • Tommy respects bro code
  • I guess Cupid got tired of archery and decided to take up hacky sack. Can’t blame him.
  • Chuckie and Susie agree to go to dance together but just as guys.
  • Everyone makes up at dance. 
  • Angelica is still desperate
  • Punk rocker and Sean end up together. Ship name: Zean
  • Hacky sack doesn’t work for Angelica
  • Lil Q disappears. Called it!

My Life As a Teenage Robot: “Dancing With My Shell”

Original Air Date: January 28, 2005
Episode Summary: Jenny’s mom won’t let her ask a boy to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Instead, she asks Silver Shell (Sheldon’s secret robotic alter ego). Jenny takes Silver Shell to the dance, and Sheldon hopes that he can impress Jenny enough to reveal his identity to her. Everything starts going wrong when Letta and the Space Bikers crash the dance. A_School_Dance.PNG

Kinsey:

  • Sadie Hawkins dance! (cue Relient K)
  • “Silly teenage mating ritual”
  • “A boy will just complicate things if there is a crisis.”
  • No soliloquies in the hallway
  • Sheldon dresses up as robot to impress Jenny. Just be yourself, Man!
  • “This is a no prancing zone.”
  • I wish i could download all the hottest dance moves straight to my robot costume as well
  • The latest dance craze of them humping the ground will SURELY catch on.

Andrew:

  • Pop rock theme song: thumbs up!Sheldonhappy
  • Sadie Hawkins dance!
  • Can robots have genders?
  • “When the red lights a-flashin, you can’t go a-dashin.”
  • Couldn’t her mom just build a boy robot for her to go to dance with?
  • I secretly want to believe that this show is also a Big Bang Theory prequel called Teen Sheldon. 1481603689384
  • When in doubt, just say “you’re kinda pretty.”
  • Aliens scratching to industrial rock music. Best school dance ever.
  • Does age difference matter if you’re a robot?
  • Don’t waste time fighting aliens if they invade. Just get a teenage girl to tell them to leave.
  • She ends up with weird guy who vaguely looks like he could be the cousin of Dexter from Dexter’s Lab.
  • If you want a girl to like you, dress up as a robot and make a fool out of yourself.

Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide: “Guide to: Valentine’s Day”

Original Air Date: February 11, 2006
*The only non-animated show on our list
Episode Summary: “Ned sends the Huge Crew a love letter meant for Suzie; Moze gets the most roses and is dubbed “The Hottest Girl in School”; Cookie sends himself roses to make sure he gets the most.”S02e10

Kinsey:

  • Ned has the hots for Suzie Crabgrass
  • We are not worthy of Coconut Head’s bowl cut
  • ANONYMOUS AGAIN
  • A girl named candy in a Valentine’s Day episode
  • And again, goth girls rule the world
  • I would send roses to myself
  • Moze spitting some rhymes
  • I love Cookie.
  • “I like tough girls” – coconut head
  • Moze and Cookie would make a cute couple
  • The end took a dark turn with Coconut Head in the closet
  • Who sent Moze the roses?

Andrew:

  • “It’s also a day to see who gets the most roses and see whose hotty rating flies through the roof.” Cringey dialogue
  • The huge crew is on an annual Valentine’s Day massacre
  • How did Coconut Head survive all of that head trauma?
  • I always struggle over whether or not I should get a mushy or a humorous card. Why not both?
  • Ned sabotaged Loomer’s eraser. That sneaky bastard.
  • Seth Powers and Candy are in love. Poor Moze.
  • Coconut Head is immortal. tumblr_mi4asqDW341qgwtwfo1_500
  • Cookie will send roses to himself and replace Doug as #1 hottie. Who is Doug?
  • “Cut out the part about what you think your kids will look like” Forreal, a minute ago you were just saying not to give lovey/mushy notes if you’re not sure they like you. What’s the matter with this guy?
  • “Her smile sends you to heaven. And on your scale from 1 to 10, she’s an 11.” Possibly the best dialogue from any of these episodes?
  • Moze tells Coconut Head and friend to write anonymous valentine to huge crew. Hey, it worked for Forkenschtock!
  • Except Ned is writing the anonymous valentine. Gee, there’s no way this will go wrong…
  • All the ladies are after Cookie now.
  • Moze got 31 roses. Is now #1 school hottie. 
  • Missy slams head against wall. She and Coconut Head should hang out sometime and test the endurance of their heads.
  • “Did you get my nose rote?” How is this kid supposed to guide someone through middle school?
  • Ned mixed up the cards.
  • Gordy’s looking a little like a member of Slipknot. Oh shit! It’s Moze.
  • In a surprise twist, Coconut Head is into the huge crew.
  • Moze covers for Cookie. What a pal.
  • Coconut Head has foursome with huge crew in janitor closet. This eerily reminded me of a story from the Dirt where this girl thought she was having sex with Nikki Sixx in a dark closet, but it was actually Tommy Lee while Nikki stood behind him and talked. Who knows where the writers of Nickelodeon get their inspiration.
  • So who actually sent Moze those roses? Did I miss it?

Our takeaway?

  • Nickelodeon portrays teachers as old women. (This is not counting Mr. Simmons later on in Arnold!)
  • Nickelodeon is sexist at times.
  • Who is Sadie Hawkins?
  • Nickelodeon can be dirty minded.
  • There is a slight tinge of homophobia at times, which we do not condone.
  • Goth girls will rule the world.
  • Andrew & Kinsey have similar analyses, which makes them PERFECT for each other.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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